21 advantages of being over 50, Is F**king Awesome

21 advantages of being over 50, Is F**king Awesome

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Earlier this year, I turned 50. It was mostly a non-event as I’ve been telling people I am 50 since I was 42.

Adding years to your actual age always elicits a “you look good for your age“ response and I am not against shortening my life span for a compliment.

But actually being 50 is turning out to have tons of unexpected benefits. Here are my top reasons:

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.

4. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 p.m.

9. You can live without sex (but not without glasses).

10. You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.

11. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

12. You have a party and the neighbours don’t even realize it.

13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

15. You sing along with the elevator music.

16. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.

19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

21. You can’t remember who sent you this.

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